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Lib Dems back migrant ‘amnesty’

BBC NEWS | Politics | Lib Dems back migrant ‘amnesty’ – right, so it’s not like the Liberal Democrats are ever going to get into power, so they may as well promise free bubble gum for everyone for all the good it will do them, but this isn’t going to stop me from taking issue with this absurd vote-losing policy.

The Liberal Democrats have said that after ten years of living in the United Kingdom, illegal immigrants should get the right to earn citizenship, which would mean passing language tests, demonstrating a long-term commitment to the UK and having no criminal record. There are two major problems with this that I can see:

  1. How can an illegal immigrant not have an effective criminal record? By their very presence in the country they are committing an offence. Whether that offence is a civil or criminal offence is irrelevant, it is still an offence since they are breaking a law of the land. This creates a paradox with the requirement to not have a criminal record when “earning” citizenship.
  2. On the basis that illegal immigrants are, in fact, inherently and automatically criminals by their very presence in the country, the ten year “amnesty” suggests that as long as they don’t get caught for ten years from the time they enter the country then they’re home and dry and absolved of their offences against the law. Why should this therefore not be applied to all crimes? If I go and rob a bank, or murder someone, and manage to not get caught for ten years, should I then expect to be let off? Why is this different with illegal immigrants?

This policy is about as well thought out as the other recent infamous Liberal Democrat policy of stating that they will raise income tax. If this wasn’ silly enough, they announced this policy before a general election. It’s little wonder that the Liberal Democrats aren’t in power, nor ever will be. Leftie handwringing idiots.

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Unelected and unwanted Prime Minister

So, in 48 hours we’ll have a new Prime Minister and Leader of the House of Commons in the respective forms of Gordon “Pension Robber” Brown and Harriet “the Harlot” Harman. The media have, for the past number of weeks, been speculating on how the country will improve with Blair gone and Brown finally moving next door. I’ve got news for you. It won’t.

Quite surprisingly, Brown has already suggested that he might call an early general election, as early as spring 2008. This is a full two years before a general election must be called. I’m sure that Brown has some sneaky, sinister, self-serving reasons why he might do this, because let’s face it, there are no selfless acts with New Labour and especially not Gordon Brown, but for the moment I’m willing to judge it on face value.

The coronation of Gordon Brown as Prime Minister is a dramatically undemocratic event. I know I’ve ranted about this before, but I might remind readers that this government lost the popular vote in the 2005 election and Gordon Brown was uncontested in the leadership bid. Even John Major, when he succeeded Margaret Thatcher, had to compete in and win a leadership competition within his own party, even if he was not voted into the premiership by the electorate.

It’s not right. From Wednesday Britain will be more of a dictatorship than any of the countries which it’s involved itself with under the pretence of installing democracy over the past decade. It’s a spectacle and I very much hope that everyone will see the Emperor’s New Clothes for what they actually are.

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Democracy? Pfft!

People say there’s no reason to be bitter about the outcome of the election. Labour won it fair and square, right? The result reflects the will of the people, like in any good democracy? Rubbish. There was nothing “fair and square” about this election and there’s every reason to be bitter about its outcome.

Now, let me blind you with statistics. Let’s first of all discuss this “will of the people” thing. While it is true that, by a whisker, Labour won the greatest proportion of the votes (35.2%), consider the following:

  • 35.2% is way under half of all votes cast. This means that 64.8% of votes cast were not for New Labour.
  • When taking turnout into account, only 22% of voters voted for Labour. The others either voted for another party, or didn’t vote at all. So now we have Labour winning with less than a quarter of the electorate voting for them.
  • Broadly, the proportion of the UK population that is eligible to vote is two thirds (very broadly: 60 million population, 40 million electorate). Applying this 2:3 ratio to the portion of the electorate that voted Labour means that just under 15% of the population voted for them. Yes, the current (or, technically, the soon to be formed) government was put in power by less than 15% of the population of the country, all of which have to live under its governance and law.

I’d therefore hardly call Labour’s win “the will of the people”, so don’t bleat on about it. The will of the people is apparently absolutely irrelevant when deciding who’s going to run the country.

Observe the charts below. Both show the same data, but in different ways. They both show the percentage of the votes each party received plotted against the percentage of Commons seats they won with that vote, the number of seats won is of course what counts at the end of the day.

Donut!

Donut!

Bar chart!

Bar chart!

Exactly how can a system be fair when it can allow a party to gain 24.7% extra seats with only 2.9% extra votes over the next most popular party? How the fuck does that work? I’m not saying that the Tories deserved to win, indeed their proportion of seats is very close to their proportion of the vote, so the system obviously works in their case, but look at the Liberal Democrats: 22% of votes were cast for them, yet they only get 9.6% of the seats. Their votes-to-seat ratio (in terms of percentage) is 2.29, yet Labour’s is 0.63, which means that the Libdems apparently had to work 3.7 times harder to win seats than Labour did.

Seriously, don’t talk to me about “democracy” and “winning fair and square”. There’s nothing democratic, fair or square about this whatsoever. As I’ve said before, don’t ask me to come up with a foolproof alternative, because I don’t have one and as I’m not a politician it’s frankly not my job to do so. But that doesn’t mean that I, as a voter, am not allowed to voice my great dissatisfaction with this so called “democracy”. Indeed, if the UK was a tin-pot sandy country in the Middle East, George Bush would have probably come and enacted regime change by now since the makeup of the government most certainly does NOT reflect the will of the people.

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Three minute silence

Grumpier Old Men :: Three minute silence for the tsunami victims – hear bloody here. This bit in particular is brilliant:

We were recently told by our government to observe 2 minutes silence for a Briton that had decided against government advice to go to a country at war to make a fast buck and was then kidnapped and executed after ignoring the advice of local people who warned him not to go to certain places and without military escorts.

Some weeks later another Briton in that country who had lived there half their life helping the poor repressed people of that country for no personal gain was kidnapped and executed but no silence. Why not?

I personally forgot about the three minutes’ silence and carried on working, and to be frank I didn’t notice anybody else stop for it either, whether in the office or outside my window. Buses didn’t “pull over” as the local rag would have me believe, people didn’t jump to a stop on the pavement, the phones kept on ringing and the builders kept on banging annoyingly.

Yes, it’s a terrible tragedy, but please, for the love of God, standing still for three minutes isn’t going to help anyone. It’s tacky, it’s nanny-state, it’s inconvenient and above all it’s extremely unnecessary. I refuse to have that hand-wringing sanctimonious Tessa Jowell telling me how I should feel and how I should mark those allocated feelings.

I’d also like to point out that the oh-so-generous United States’ contribution to the tsunami disaster relief fund amounts to just one and a half days of Iraq war costs. So fuck you Dubyah and your holier-than-thou aren’t-we-everyone’s-friend speeches. Your country is so fucking rich partly due to getting fat off the backs of countries such as India and Indonesia. I present exhibits A and B: Union Carbide and Nike. So yes, get your fucking money and marines over there as soon as possible, and take that fucking halo off your head. That is all.

By the way, Grumpier Old Men is what the Internet was invented for.

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New Labour parable

I nicked this off someone on the Internet, who nicked it off someone else, who in turn nicked it off some other person, and none of us have any idea who wrote it, so I won’t even bother with any credits beyond “I didn’t write this”.

The Original Version

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

The New Labour Version

It starts out the same, but when winter comes, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. The BBC, ITV, CNN and all the rest of the News Reporters show up and provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The entire country is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Then a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association for the Advancement of Green Bugs) shows up on Newsnight and charges the ant with “Green Bias” and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the frog appears on Trisha with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”

Tony and Cherie Blair make a special guest appearance on the Evening News and tell a concerned Trevor MacDonald that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly while the Conservative were in power.

Gordon Brown exclaims in an interview with David Frost that the Ant has gotten rich off the “back of the grasshopper”, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the Ant to make him pay his “fair share”.

Finally the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act. RETROACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Cherie gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of high court judges that are appointed from a list of single-parent welfare mothers who can only hear cases on Thursday afternoon between 1:30 and 3:00 PM when there are no talk shows scheduled.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he’s in – which just happens to be the ant’s old house – crumbles around him since he doesn know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ants food, they are showing Tony Blair standing before a wildly applauding group of cretins announcing that a new era of “Fairness” has dawned in the UK.

It’d be funnier if it wasn’t so dangerously similar to reality.

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Student tuition fees

In light of the recent shennanigans concerning university tuition fees, here’s an idea I’ve had which from the outset at least seems very fair. We all know that there are a lot of wasters who go to University and never really work hard, whilst at the same time some people work exceptionally hard and deserve the best degree at the end of it. Yet all students from both ends of the spectrum are subject to the same tuition fees and also the same tuition subsidies (as students don’t pay all the fees, the LEA pays a contribution too). How is that fair? Well, it’s not, really, and it’s set to become more unfair if the tuition fees go up.

So here are the main issues, at least in my view:

  • Too many students are going to University these days, often to do useless, “Mickey Mouse” degrees (media studies, leisure and tourism studies, etc.)
  • Many of these students have no intention of actually doing any work, whether that means they get a degree or not.
  • Whether a student succeeds or fails, they still use the same financial resources to pay for their course, both from the LEA and their own pockets.
  • Many students from poorer backgrounds cannot afford to attend University, even if they are exceptionally bright.

So here’s my idea: How about some sort of “discount” system that’s directly linked to A-Level grades? I believe there’s a system in use at the moment called “UCAS points”, whereas when I went to University it was just A-Level points. I don’t know about the exact system that UCAS points use, but let’s for the sake of argument assume that they are interchangeable with the former A-Level points system, in that for every grade you receive two points, so an “A” grade would get you 10 points, a “E” grade would get you 2 points, and a “U” grade none at all.

30 points therefore equates to three “A” grades at A-Level, or 6 “A” grades at AS-Level (i.e. excellent grades, proof of hard work and commitment). Let’s then say that if you get 30 points (or more), you receive a 100% discount on your contribution to your university tuition fees. If you get 6 points (three “E” grades), you get a 20% discount. If you receive three “U” grades (zero points), you receive no discount at all, assuming of course a university will take you with those grades (stranger things have happened).

This system would bring the following benefits:

  • Students who work hard during their A-Levels are rewarded with a cheaper education, for they deserve it. They are more likely to make the best of the opportunity presented to them.
  • Students who don’t work hard during their A-Levels are not rewarded as much. It will be more difficult for them to got to university, but the incentive is there.
  • Students who don’t work at all at their A-Levels aren’t rewarded at all.
  • I know it’s generalising, but it’s normally safe to assume that people who don’t work hard at their A-Levels aren’t likely to bother to change their ways when they get to university, and so having no discount on their tuition fees may well deter them from going to university at all, it would be a waste of everyone’s time, including their own. They would be better off starting their career at 18.
  • Bright students from poorer backgrounds who would not normally be able to afford a university education would then be able to because of the large discount they would receive from doing well at A-Level.
  • The theory that if you work hard, you will be rewarded will be restored, rather than the current system of rewarding people whether they work hard or not.

Obviously, I can’t have possibly covered all the angles here because I don’t know the education system well enough and I never will, but don’t you think that at least initially it seems like a reasonably sensible idea?

But then, as with everything that’s “reasonably sensible” in this country, those very words mean that it and nothing like it will ever even be tabled, much less implemented. That is, however, a rant for another day. Probably tommorow.

The only disadvantages I can see with this is that it may be necessary to raise the standard tuition fees in order that those with low or no discounts are able to subsidise those with high or complete discounts. At the end of the day, universities still need a certain amount of money in order to operate properly, and if they just take A-grade students then they’re going to be a bit short of dosh. That’s a problem for an accountant though.

Don’t like this idea? Too right wing? Think I’m ill-informed about such matters? Sorry about that, but I’ll write whatever I like here.

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